Friday, April 4, 2014

Making Decisions


my brain has been the scary place for months
mulling over decisions made
and needing to be made
the road I'm on has been a tough one
and I've been considering
a huge change
having Mom at Woodlands has been
hard on her
harder on me I think
in so many ways it's the right thing

I have been considering bringing her home
quitting my job
changing our lives
so many pros and cons
to me it boils down to our mental well being
we would both be happier
financially it's not ideal
for me to leave my job
with health care
but I've been doing number crunching
health wise I'm a wreck
and feel losing 90% of the stress in my life will help
will this be better for Mom
how can I know
mentally she will be happy
can I take care of her health adequately
we will having home physical therapy
vising nurse
and so on

thoughts and opinions are welcome
I know finding a job in my field
later will be next to impossible
maybe there will be another road


Dirty Martini Queen said...

Oh sweetie I wish we could all help you out with making this difficult decision. My MIL still asks us daily about bringing my FIL home while she knows this isn't the right choice for him. She struggles just like you are that the quality of care isn't what she would do for him and she just wants us to assure her that the correct decision was made for both of them. I tell ya that aging isn't for the weak of heart and dealing with aging parents is heartbreaking. Only you and your family can make this decision but think with your head not your heart my friend.

WoolenSails said...

Can you take a leave of absence from your job? That way you can do a trial period to make sure bringing your mom home, will work out before you make a major decision like that. I know it will be easier on you too if she is home and happy and you don't have to juggle your time with your job too. As a caretaker, I know it is hardest to take care of the ones we love and you will still need help at home to give you a break.


Kim said...

I kept Mom home longer than anyone thought possible. I altered my lifestyle, I still worked but realized that working towards promotions was not in the cards at that time. I was lucky enough to have a retired family member who helped while I was at work and I accessed all the home health care assistance we qualified for. And even then it was HARD. When Mom finally was hospitalized for an infection and septic shock in December, the staff at the ER could not believe that this patient came from home. Everyone asked me how I did it. My reply - You do the best you can and pray.
But as hard as it was, and there were many times I questioned my decisions, now that our journey has ended - I have NO regrets. I am at peace with things. I gave her all I had, as she would have done for me.
I'm praying for you both.
Hugs, Kim

HomeSpunPrims said...

Dear Kelley,
So many hard decisions to make. I suppose no one can tell you just what is best for you and your mom. I hope you will be at peace whatever you decide. My dad is still living at home on his own but is having more issues as time goes on. It's just never easy to know the best thing to do. We just have to do the best we can and pray for guidance. May God bless you and help you in these hard life decisions. Much love, Lori

marly said...

Oh my. I was in your shoes and I would do it all again, even though at times it was very trying. A few self employed older aides helped greatly. A family leave would be ideal for you and give you time to work things out. Whatever your decision, I wish you and your mom the best.

Pam in IL said...

Only you and your family can make this decision and whichever road you take, it will be hard. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Jacque. said...

Kelley Girl...sometimes one must make decisions that are for the best at the time. The future will work itself out. Prayers continue for you. xo

Orange Sink said...

Kelley know that I am thinking of you and sending prayers that things work out the best for you and your Mom. Change the things that you have the power to change as so many things are out of our control when caring for sick or elderly family members.
Cathy G

acorn hollow said...

I am not sure if you are in the U.S but there is a family medical leave act which allows you 12 weeks unpaid to take care of a loved one. You can also go on cobra for your insurance for that amount of time. This will give you a chance to see if it is do able for you. Your health is very important too so you have to consider that. Keeping you in my thoughts it is a huge decision that only you can make.

Cindy said...

I wish you the best whatever you decide. Everyone's situation is different. I know my mom would want me to make her three grandchildren a priority over her. My mom lived with us for six months and it was extremely difficult with three kids, a dog and husband as we could never leave her alone. If you do decide to have her live with you, you will need much support. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you both.

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...

Kelleygirl ~
I think bringing mommy home would be wonderful for you both…
financially, use those talented hands of yours to help supplement your income ~ you will be successful because of your following of friends here on the web ~ more patterns, booklets & finished work from you would be awesome ~ I will gladly carry your things here in our shop to help you out ~ contact me by email if you'd like to talk more my friend ~

Rugs and Pugs said...

Kelley ~
Follow your heart and do what you think is best for mom ~ and you ~ and I'm sure it will all work out.

Kim said...

Hello Kelly, I sent you an email but for reason it came back. I went thru this with my Mom and I wanted to talk to you. My heart breaks for you as this is a most difficult time. If you quit your job, you can publish all your books again for income, and be with your Mom at home. Just please keep creating as you go thru this time in your life, as it hard to stay afloat....if you ever want to talk, just email me. My thoughts and prayers go out to you~ God Bless~ Kim

lynda said...

Have cared for my mom during a long illness. I would suggest not giving up your leave or maybe switch to part time. You need to "get away" at times to recharge...Cobra health insurance is VERY expensive..consider all angles and carefully make a ia a tough one.

jennifer768 said...

You can only do what feels right for the both of you.I will do the only thing I know to do in order to help and that is to pray .Big hugs,Jen