Again and Again

well my old friend depression

has settled in for a long visit

no advice needed

there is nothing I haven't tried

it will pass

again

on days when I can keep busy

instead of sleeping

the house is getting a deep clean

am glad I can function to workagai

Shaker Boxes

 my family has been in love with 

Shaker Boxes for as long as I can remember

my mother collected

my sister and her husband collect

I collect

most of mine are a wood stain finish

maybe 8 or so are painted

hmmm...my stash is a few dozen or so

I've even given a few away

to said sister and husband

LeHay's Shaker Boxes

it's wonderful to see them being used with needlework

all the above images are LeHay's

 

my BIL has always planned on making Shaker Boxes

he's finishing up a cedar lined closet now

fingers crossed...

vintage boxes found on Pinterest

 

 *****

so it's Day 4 of my low carb-no sugar eating

feeling better

but know there is far more to my eating 

than just lack of willpower

it's called Binge Eating Disorder

I am working on

 finding professional help locally

time to kick this once and for all!

 

Exhaustion

this is going on my 4th year

of sleep~parent/s~work

repeat

 seven days a week unless I'm sick

just going through a bad spell right now

miss having a life of my own

no need to comment

no need to tell me what I should do

I'm just saying it's a bad time

 

Stitched

 

yesterday

I got to stitch

for the first time

in about forever

the seating was uncomfortable

the lighting not so good

but I stitched

 

Mom kept watching me

but never asked to help

finally I asked if she wanted to stitch

 

her reply

"not today"

 

so maybe today she will

am taking something different for her

would love it if she

became engaged in something

anything

 

her every thought is of coming home

she asks if I would like to be there

 

I always so of course

a place where they bring me my meds and food

where I can get my hair done

play bingo

and sleep in late

what's not to love

unless you have to be there

 

the therapists

all rave about her progress

so praying it won't be too long

maybe a few more weeks

 

not soon enough for her

she was ready to call a taxi last night

 

spunk

she's full of it!

Meanwhile...

when it comes to exercise

that's how I feel

I'm doing it

just without enthusiasm

it's Week 2 of Commit to Fit

at work

and while I've been

80% on track with the healthy

eating portion

(lost 7 # the first week)

the exercise part has been

more of a challenge...

if you have one

please send

a velociraptor to chase me around

for about 1/2 hour per day

or even a large dog

that needs walking

Many Thanks

for all you kind posts

and many emails

regarding my depression/anxiety issues

especially for not telling me to

"snap out of it"

Caution: Depression Ahead

this about sums it up

trying to deal with my depression

with a sense of humor

this is one of the reasons I've been so

cranky lately and having headaches...

changing anti depression meds is a pain

you have to wean off of one before starting another

so all the things you were

able to deal with are back with a vengeance

anyone who's been clinically depressed for a long time

knows the feeling of

"maybe when I'm off the meds I'll be okay and won't need them"

I've been off the meds completely for a month

(dealing with an elderly parents going

through a crisis during that

time is not something I'd recommend)

will be starting a new one this week...

after you've been on some for years

they quit working right

***

The saddest part is having people

tell you to snap out of it

or

get more therapy

or

get more exercise

or

go outside

or
this or that

(because obviously this is my fault

for not trying hard enough)

sorry, but it's a real illness

that not everyone can wish or talk away

(because I've tried that

and am still trying)

it's chronic and will part of me always

sometimes better, sometimes worse

it just is

as far as I can tell

I've always been depressed

it got much worse

after thyroid issues in the late 90's

this endless heat is not helping either

nor is anxiety

(Thank God I still have meds for that)

I know there are millions

of people dealing

with the same issue

be thankful if you are not one of us