Monday, August 8, 2011

Caution: Depression Ahead

this about sums it up



trying to deal with my depression

with a sense of humor



this is one of the reasons I've been so

cranky lately and having headaches...



changing anti depression meds is a pain



you have to wean off of one before starting another

so all the things you were



able to deal with are back with a vengeance



anyone who's been clinically depressed for a long time



knows the feeling of



"maybe when I'm off the meds I'll be okay and won't need them"




I've been off the meds completely for a month

(dealing with an elderly parents going

through a crisis during that

time is not something I'd recommend)



will be starting a new one this week...

after you've been on some for years

they quit working right

***

The saddest part is having people

tell you to snap out of it

or

get more therapy

or

get more exercise

or

go outside

or
this or that


(because obviously this is my fault

for not trying hard enough)

sorry, but it's a real illness

that not everyone can wish or talk away

(because I've tried that

and am still trying)


it's chronic and will part of me always

sometimes better, sometimes worse

it just is


as far as I can tell

I've always been depressed

it got much worse

after thyroid issues in the late 90's


this endless heat is not helping either

nor is anxiety

(Thank God I still have meds for that)


I know there are millions

of people dealing

with the same issue

be thankful if you are not one of us

19 comments:

WoolenSails said...

I feel for you and know how you feel. I call it a funk, lol. WIth the meds and being stuck home, I have to constantly battle it lately. I hope the new meds work better and you can start feeling good again.

Debbie

HomeSpunPrims said...

I don't have chronic depression and I can't imagine how very difficult it is for those of you that do but my heart goes out to you Kelley. I hope the new meds will help you so that you can enjoy your life more fully and all the things that bring you joy.

debra said...

I also deal with chronic depression and, like you, have found that my medication that I have relied on for year has stopped working. You're right...it is not just a bad mood or something you can just "get over." If you can, do try some of the more holistic approaches. Walking, meditation, yoga. They do help, although they do not cure. It's all about baby steps. Sending positive energy your way..Debra

Orange Sink said...

Dear Kelley,
Oh girl I know what you are going through and the thyroid issue as well. I am so glad you posted about this. Your writing is excellent and surely good energies will come your way as a result of sharing your thoughts with others. Depression is not understood by so many. Treatment is not simple but I have seen medication work miracles. Stay strong. I will be with you in thought, prayers and sending good healing energies!
Cathy G

Ter'e said...

Kell:
Many of us walk this walk. For me, it is taking it "one day at a time". That seems to be how I live my life now, "one day at a time".
Lean on your friends a little. Alot of us understand the bouts you go thru.
For me, the other thing that works is having my "quiet time". I take no meds. I figure I have to deal with depression on my own. I just can't afford to rack up the medical bills.
Every day, I find a new joy and a new thing to be thankful for.
For me, this works.
Sending you quiet little hugs, kiddo.
Ter'e

Nancy in MT said...

Kelley,
I understand, I have had chronic depression for years and know it can be a daily battle even on meds.
And the anxiety can slam you into the wall as well. Take it a day at a time, one foot in front of the other. It's hard when people tell you to snap out of it, you should be feeling better, we all have our own timeline for feeling well. No one knows what it feels like for you, you know yourself best.
Nancy

primitivebettys said...

I too feel for you & know how you feel. One day at a time huh? Get better again dear friend! We wuvs ya!

Jacqueline said...

I hope things improve for you soon.

smiles and hugs

Sue Tokash said...

Kelley,
Thank you for talking about the issue. You are so correct in how many people react when depression is mentioned. I too have thyroid and depression issues so I have walked the same road. I hope the next 4-6 weeks passes fast and the new meds work well for you.

Brenis said...

Kelley, know my thoughts are with you during this struggle. I will be praying for you every day! Hoping the new medication "fits" you right away and things start looking up and become easier!! New meds can sometimes be the biggest battle. Hang in there sweet sister!!! Love you gobs! xoxo

appleberrycottage said...

Kelley,
Hope you're feeling better (and the meds kick in) quickly.
Laura

Kathy (woolfind) said...

Sorry to hear all that is going on Kelley. Will be praying for you. I am learning more and more about depression with friends and family who have it. My 17 year old niece is taking medicine now.
Hoping your new meds kick in soon and things get a little more easier for you!

Betweens said...

changes to our system is always an interruption in your everyday life. I hope the new meds work for you. You are right in not being alone, hopefully you will have some rest of mind, body and soul soon.
hugs are coming your way

Dirty Martini Queen said...

Kelley,
You don't face this battle alone so vent on us, we can help carry the burden with/for you.
Donna

Rugs and Pugs said...

Kelley ~
I hope the new med can quickly begin to help you. I have a close family member who has dealt with depression since childhood and I know the struggle it can cause. I'll be sending prayers and big hugs your way.
Lauren

moosecraft said...

Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance... it is not something that a person can "get over"... meds are needed to restore a balance... I totally understand where you are right now... praying the news meds are what you need to feel good again... hugs to you!

Ter'e said...

P.S.
Kelley, if "one day at a time" doesn't work.......try "one hour at a time".
You have alot of people who care deeply for you.......lean on them!
True friends will always be there for you.

Joanne said...

Kelley - wishing you and your new meds get along and it gives you some peace you need. Everyone is giving good advice - vent, bitch, cry, scream all you want to us - we are there for you. Hugs! Give those sweet kitties some hugs too - they calm the soul for sure.

Doris said...

Kelley, I hope the new meds and the cooler weather will give you some relief. I'm one of the lucky ones that has never had to deal with clinical depression but I know it must be very hard. I hope the new meds and the cooler weather will help. You will be in my prayers my dear friend.