I'm stopping the insanity
no more begging
pleading and crying for help
when I am at my wit's end
feeling like I'm going to crack
leave it to Captain Jack
to help me
understand
my problem is needing more help
with my folks
from my local sister
and 99.9%
of the time hearing no for my requests
(which have been made very rarely
compared to the need)
my attitude has been pissed
our parents deserve better
and have for years
I would never expect anyone to devote
the time I do to them
but in my mind
you are supposed to
take care of your elderly parents
so yesterday I snapped
having to deal with her in any way
over the past has only caused me grief
and raised my anxiety levels
born 11 years apart
we have never been close
though she has been very
generous in the past
I can no longer
interact with her
without being overwhelmed by rage and fury
I can be civil in front of our parents
I've done it for years
*****
My health
is suffering due to the sleep deprivation
my blood pressure is way up
blood sugar too
Dr visit coming up next week
am sure I'll be put on insulin
exhaustion and
too much stress on my body
We do have home help
for a few hours 4 days a week
three afternoons while I'm at work
one morning
Visiting Dad in the morning
is a bight spot in the day
he is always happy to see me
Mom has a cold and skipped the past few mornings
after I do my chores for him
we read the paper, watch TV and talk
I enjoy spending time
with both my parents
and treasure these days with them
15 comments:
so sorry for your stress I will say I have a sister that sounds very similar.
wishing you some free time to yourself.
Cathy
Hang in there!! Sometimes just unloading can make you feel better. Know that people are listening and also dealing with similar issues to you all over the world. You are not alone. Bravo for being strong enough to admit you can't do it alone. And also know you are doing the very best YOU can for your parents. Big hugs from across the oceans.
Kelly ~
I am so sorry. I've been there and done that and know how aggravating it can be. My mom passed away 3+ years ago and I'm still pissed at my sister. She is not local but never even had the time to pick up the phone and call. She did not visit for five years before my mom passed away, came home for the funeral and then came back less than 3 months later for her class reunion. Just remember to take care of yourself or you will be no good to your parents. I know it's hard, but do try.
Big hugs :)
Lauren
I wish I was closer and could help you out, sometimes just having someone that understands and cares helps to ease the frustration. I think enjoying your time with your parents and not worrying about someone who just stresses you out, will help.
Debbie
Kelley, thanks for sharing your frustration. I think it helps to talk about it. You are a good daughter and every parent deserves a child like you! Maria
You'll have no regrets... she will. Hang in there and try to take care of yourself as well. Your a great daughter!
Kelley Girl...I am feeling your pain big time! I have a sister who, were she not my sister, would not be in my life at all. Sad, but true. Please take care of yourself.
Good for you that you snapped! I'm assuming it was on your sister? I hope she got the picture! We all have those people in our lives but you are the one who is doing the right thing!! Take care and know that you have a whole bunch of cheerleaders on your side!!
You're a good daughter and excellent advocate to them. Good for you for snapping at her and only hope she can now see the er of her ways and begin to help some.
Wish I was closer.
Saundra
I am sorry for your stress. Maybe it is time to move Mom into assisted living. I know you don't want to but sometimes we have to make hard decisions.
You have so much on your plate and if your health fails where will your Mom and Dad be??
I Understand.
I understand completely. My dad died this past march in my home while in hospice, I am the middle child and although both my siblings live far away it was the fact that just to get them to call and talk to him was a big deal. They didn't even visit him when they put him in hospice. I don't understand that. I also took care of my mom while she was in hospice but had to travel 400 miles and stay weeks to help my dad. The same thing happened with mom, only when she was at deaths door did they come but after the first time they didn't any more except for the funeral. I tell you this because things like this happen. People, our siblings act like this.
I can honestly say that it is worth it - I have NO REGRETS. I can sleep now although it was hard when I was taking care of dad and mom, even my marriage suffered and eventually ended. They took care of me when I was a child and now it was my turn. It is not easy but try to let your anger go and take care of your parents and don't try to be perfect but just give them your love, attention and patience because when they are gone you will do the would of, should of thing because we were in the middle of it.
Just know that you are not alone. My parents are gone, but I KNOW I did my best for them and they knew it too, I also know that they felt the absence of my siblings too. YOU ARE A GREAT DAUGHTER! I know your parents know it too -even when they get testy and impatient or forgetful. Remember to ask for help from those who offer, slow down to take care of yourself and let the things that can wait - wait. God Bless you for your diligence and love for your parents.
She probably let it go in one ear and out the other. That is on her, NOT YOU. Some people are givers, YOU. Just expect nothing from her in the way of help. She just has a missing piece, or thinks you have everything in hand. Don't drop in your tracks to bring her on board.
Do your best, leave the rest.... Rest in the palm of God's hand, and carry on! Jo
I love Jo's saying. "Rest in the palm of God's hand". Gosh that is so true.
Ah Kell......I am a great hugger......I wish I was there, hugging you right now and giving you a break! I sure would if I could.
I also have the sister from hell. She is 4 years older than me. I have not spoken to her in 9 years. It has been sheer bliss. I closed that door and have been "at peace" ever since.
It's obvious, how much you love your parents. God Bless Your Heart! When the time comes and they do pass, you will be at total peace. You are a wonderful daughter. You have given all you had. Please do not care so much for them that you jeopardize your own heath. How much good will you be if this happens.
I hope you can find GOOD in every day with them both. They are so lucky to have you.
Ter'e
I hope things start to improve for you and your parents.
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