Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Happy Mail

 
Mom is so happy to receive her mail every day
the shower of love and fabric
keeps her mind
busy planning quilts...
 
 
Words cannot expressed how blessed we
are to have such friends
 
 
Some changes in our plans have come up...
devastating to me
as I never once felt Mom wouldn't be coming home
 
My sisters and now I
believe it will be safer and best for Mom
to remain at the facility...
best for me too as I have neglected
myself for so long and
would have to continue to do so
if she came home

I've developed a few health problems
that need extended attention
and sleep
 
I feel like my heart is going to explode
I know it is for the best
 
I feel so guilty, defeated and depressed
I know this will pass
but for now
I am smothered in sorrow
after going through this with Dad so recently
 
 


18 comments:

jennifer768 said...

Kelley my heart weeps for you! I am so sorry that things have taken this turn.Please don't feel guilty!!You are a wonderful daughter and person.You have given your all and sometimes it is just more than we can do alone.Caring sometimes means letting go and that is what it has come to with your mom.You love her enough to leave her at the facility where she can receive the care that you can't do alone.God Bless you honey! Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!! Big hugs,Jen

WoolenSails said...

It is so hard when you have it happen so close together, you never had time to recover from the loss of your dad. Sending cyber hugs your way.

Debbie

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...

{{{hugs}}}

HomeSpunPrims said...

Kelley,
My heart weeps for you too my friend. I know this was a very hard decision to make especially in light of your dad. But you do need to take care of yourself. Please try not to feel guilty. You've been a devoted daughter and put your own health aside for a long time to care for your parents. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I'm so glad your mom is enjoying her card shower. Big loving hugs, Lori

Jacque. said...

My thoughts and prayers are continuously with you, Kelley Girl! xo

Penny Shepherd said...

Kelley, No words can lighten the burden you feel. We all know we won't have our parents forever but it just doesn't seem you can ever prepare your heart. It was such a blessing to me to be able to send some cheer to your Mother. Please take care of yourself and let others help you. God bless you Kelley!

Kim said...

This morning I moved Mom to a Long Term Care Facility. I know it's for the best but my heart is broken. I feel like in a way I have failed her.
Big hugs to you. I know how you are feeling

Saundra said...

Sweet Kelley, you have been there for your mom and have been a source of strength for her. But you also need to take care of yourself; if you aren't well you can't be there for your mother. You and your sister are making the right decision. WOOLEY HUGS.

Saundra

Saundra said...

Sweet Kelley, you have been there for your mom and have been a source of strength for her. But you also need to take care of yourself; if you aren't well you can't be there for your mother. You and your sister are making the right decision. WOOLEY HUGS.

Saundra

Myra said...

Bless your heart. One of the reasons you're so down is because you are exhausted ... physically and emotionally. DO NOT feel guilty. Enjoy the time you have left with her .... doesn't matter, dear one, where that place will be.

Raymond Homestead said...

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Kelley~

Orange Sink said...

Oh Kelley,
I feel so bad you are going through this and that you feel so exhausted and down. I think you will look back and realize you've been doing all you can. Now it's time to take the same good care of Kelley!
Prayers, hugs and always thinking of you and your sweet Mom!!
Cathy G

Rugs and Pugs said...

Kelley,
I know it is hard but if you don't take care of yourself you will be of no help to mom. She is blessed to have you for a daughter and though difficult, you are doing what is best for her.
Warm hugs :)
Lauren

Sandi said...

you are such a wonderful daughter :)

Big ole hugs to you...

((((( )))))

Sandi

Cotton Eyed Jo said...

Dear buddy, you have been running a marathon these past months. Trying to do so many things, without taking much time if any for yourself... Your feelings of guilt will fade, as you get some rest.

You will still be able to see your mom, sew with her and continue to shower her with your love. She may never tell you that it is for the best, but she will have safety, care, and access to medical assistance 24/7 if needed. She may tell you sometime soon that she is in just the right place. Either way, she is safe.

Prayers for both of you will continue. Run a hot tub, pour in some Calgon, or lavender oil. Let the negative feelings drain into water, send them down the drain. In no way have you failed.

Nancy in MT said...

Sad news that your Mom won't be going home, difficult changes for you, will be thinking of you.

Greta said...

It is difficult to explain how much I understand the emotions you are feeling. Trust your instincts to help you do the right thing for you and you mom. Spending time with her is what is most important and if you are less stressed and tired there will be more quality in the time spent. My thoughts and prayers will remain with you all.

Three Sheep Studio said...

Praying for this adjustment for both you and your Mom. Let go of the guilt. You will still be there for your Mom. Your love for her will not change. She will get good round the clock care where she is, as needed. And, you will always be her bright spot !
Rose